A Year Ago Today...

A year ago today was the day Kobe died.  Totally unexpected and devastating to me.  This was a tough week for me.  It didn't make things any better when we had to learn about hemangiosarcoma in the right auricle of the heart in systemic pathology on wednesday.  Our professor means well, but I think in an effort to keep the class interested and engaged he is very insensitive and talks very jokingly about death and the diseases we talk about.  He used an example of a golden retriever out playing fetch that slows and doesn't make it all the way back to you, and it might make it into the clinic but dies before it even gets on the exam table.  That hit way too close to home for me.  Quite embarrassing to have to leave class from the second row in a class of 133 students, but that was better than the alternative emotional break down in the front of class.  Thanks to my supportive friends who stepped out with me to give me a hug, I really needed that.

I always told Kobe that he had to live until he was at least 15.  I knew the average for goldens was a lot closer to 10, but he wasn't just any golden, he was my best friend so he had to far surpass that average.  I couldn't live with only 10 great years, I would have wanted 20 years if I thought it was even remotely possible.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have less than 8 years with him.  The 8 best years of my life though.  So much change and growth and growing up occured in those 8 years and he was there with me for all of it. 

I got him when I was 16.  My first dog that was all mine.  My responsibilty to train, to feed, to walk, to groom, etc.  I fell in love with the breed because my uncle had a wonderful golden, but I never knew at the time I would end up this hooked on goldens.  It wasn't easy convincing my parents (my mom mostly) to let me get a golden retriever puppy.  I had to agree to living at home my first year of college (meaning going to a junior college or going to Cal Poly) because I couldn't take a puppy to the dorms, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.  After contacting several breeders we were put in touch with Kobe's breeder who had a litter of 2 puppies, one of which sounded like exactly what we were looking for.  My parents and I drove the 7 hours up to meet him when he was 6 weeks old, which also happened to be my sister's 18th birthday.  (Sorry Melissa!) 

I loved him the moment I met him and never looked back (well to be honest the first couple days he was home were very stressful and I might have mentioned wanting to send him back, but that was the lack of sleep talking ;-) . He was there with me through the rest of high school, starting college and then moving out on our own.  He was by my side through vet school applications, interviews, and the excitement of acceptances.  He was my home and my support when we moved away from my family up to Davis.  And through the stress of vet school he was my rock. 

He was the happiest dog.  I don't think I've ever met a dog that was as constantly happy as Kobe.  Nothing phased him...which sometimes frustrated me when I would try to scold him for doing something bad and he would just smile up at me like I was lavishing praises on him.  I wish I could have that same sunny disposition all the time. 

There will never be another dog like Kobe, and I don't think any dog could ever hold my heart the way that he did.  Missing you today and everyday Kobe.